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Time to follow my dreams

To my past self: I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to acknowledge that our future is ours to decide, and that we don’t need to adhere to social structure and follow a set path to life.

To my future self: I really, really hope this is a good idea.

Hello readers! I’m sure if you’ve landed on this site, you’re one of a very select few. Welcome to my little piece of the internet. This is my small island in the cloud(s) that I’m dedicating to creating as much as I possibly can, and sharing those creations with other people.

My whole life I’ve been a creative person. Writing, drawing, music, and fashion are just some of my many interests in life, and absolutely none of those things are in any way related to my current job and career. I’ve identified this as a problem that I’m planning to rectify.

I’m a 25yo/F and my background is in business, virtual reality, and video game design. Off the bat you may think that my job is very creative and fulfilling, but one crucial detail is missing.

I’m a virtual reality video game PROJECT MANAGER.

In other words, I’m overworked, stressed out, and a catch all position. I fall somewhere between the people who hold the money, the artistic people who make things, the techy people who also make things, and the people who sell things. I’m the person who is told how much money we have (never enough), how much time we have (never even close to enough), and what the project expectations are (my superiors prefer the phrase “Industry leading” when dealing with quality expectations). At that point it’s my job to make everyone else’s dreams come true, while ensuring that the team working on it can be fulfilled as creators, and that they aren’t taken advantage of and overworked by upper management.

I’ve greatly enjoyed the time that I’ve spent in the video game industry, and I don’t regret it at all. That being said, I need a break and a change of pace before all of my hair literally falls out of my head from pure stress.

At this point I’ve gotten used to my role of making other people's creative visions come true, while pushing down my own ideas and aspirations. But this year, that’s all going to change. I’ve put my literal blood, sweat and tears into learning how to support other creators -- Now I’m going to bet on myself, and see if I can find success creating my own things.

I’m starting this blog as a way to track my progress and growth as a creator. I’ve set myself some high level goals, but overall I want to use this upcoming year as a transition year. I feel like I need to relearn how to be truly creative, and rekindle my passion for making things. If you’re like me, and you enjoy following along someone else's personal creative journey, then please come along for the ride.

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